Have I?

Today, Palm Sunday, marks the beginning of what is known in the Christian church as Holy Week. It retells, reflects on and remembers the final week of Jesus’ life here on earth.

The gospel reading we hear today recounts the events of Jesus preparing to celebrate the festival of Passover, what we now call The Last Supper, Jesus’ arrest, trial, death by crucifixion and being placed in the tomb. As I sat, listened and reflected on Mark’s account of the events I was struck by how many of those in the story I can relate to and that is a scary thought.

We begin by hearing of the woman, not named, who breaks the alabaster jar of expensive nard ointment and anoints Jesus. Now I’m not saying I’ve done such a thing but I can relate to believing in something so fiercely that I will set out to achieve it at all costs. Those present questioned and challenged her actions as have others in my own life.

Jesus knows one of his disciples is to betray him and another to disown him. When he broaches the subject with his followers they all indignantly proclaim “Not I!” I wonder how many times I have denied knowledge of something and what the consequences would have been if I had been honest. And how many times I pretended I didn’t know someone so that I was seen as an associate, as one who believed in what they did, or simply because I falsely believed I didn’t have the stamina to stand up for them or the right and just cause they stood for.

In the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus asked his disciples to stay awake while he went away and prayed. He wasn’t asking much, yet in his hour of need they did the opposite and fell asleep. They were sleeping on the job. How many times have I been asked to do one thing and done everything else but it because I didn’t want to or because I was tired? How many times have I half-heartedly done something when I am literally paid to do it to a certain standard or to the best of my ability?

Betrayal hurts. There are times I’ve been on the receiving end and on the giving end, sometimes unconsciously and others consciously. Betrayal however it looks, falsely accusing someone we know is innocent or keeping quiet when we know we should speak up, is not Judas’ alone. I’m sure many of us can relate to Judas.

Standing before the Sanhedrin and before Pilate accusations against Jesus flew. How many times when things haven’t gone my way or when I didn’t want to take ownership or to be accountable for my actions have I falsely accused someone else? When have I blamed someone else for the way things have turned out and the part I had to play in it? Sometimes I can be silent and still be as guilty as someone who publicly spoke out.

Pilate was eager to please the crowd. He wanted to retain his popularity. I have often done things simply to please others, not thinking about the consequences. Pleasing others can be costly. Costly for the people involved – not letting them live their best life, letting them slacken off or it could be costly to ourselves, when we aren’t looking after ourselves so that we can serve others in the way in which we have been commissioned to. Or perhaps it is so that we will look good and better than someone else. Pilate’s pleasing and washing his hands of the matter ended up putting Jesus to death and a man who had put others to death walked away scot free. Barabbas the brigand, guilty of murder walked away. How have I been Barabbas, walked away from a situation looking innocent when I was anything but?

The soldiers mocked Jesus. The times I have mocked others I am ashamed of.

Simon of Cyrene, a passerby was it says in the scripture, compelled to carry Jesus’ cross. Helping someone shoulder their burden or walking with them on their journey is something I’d like to think I have done, compelled to do so not because someone else compelled me but rather because I felt empathy and compassion for them.

Crucifixion was a brutal way to die and was saved for the worst kind of criminal. It was often a public event where people came to watch. I can only liken it to sport, not the end result but the spectator nature of it. Sport is very much a part of the Australian culture and sadly so is crucifying some of our public sporting figures for their behaviour either on or off the field or court. I’m not saying they aren’t guilty of actions they should be called into account for, but what I am questioning is the crucifixion. Public humiliation is perhaps one way we crucify our sporting heroes.

Some of Jesus’ followers were present at the crucifixion, the ones mentioned in this gospel were women. Were they walking the hard road with Jesus? Were they powerless to resist the religious figures of the time who seemed convinced of Jesus’ guilt, simply by being women? I’d like to think they were there for Jesus, showing him that they had not deserted him. That they were loving him by being there going through what he came to earth for.

Joseph of Arimathea, had a place for Jesus to rest, an empty tomb. Are there times we have been a place for others to rest? To be silent and listen and to be present.

When I look back through the gospel and question my motives as if I were in the shoes of the people in Jesus’ story, I am fully aware of my frailty, the times I’ve failed and gone along with the crowd, but also the opportunities I’ve had to chose a different path. Just as Jesus’ story doesn’t end in the tomb, so my story doesn’t end. This journey of Holy Week reminds me of it all and that the best is yet to come.